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[25 Sep 2007|05:16pm] |
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mood |
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 lethargic |
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music |
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In The Dark - Tiesto |
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September 25th.
approximatley 4:35 pm.
Barbara Ann Webber Oliveri.
RIP Grandma.
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[25 Aug 2007|09:08am] |
OOOOOOOOOOOOH!!
&David got Dorito last night!!! XP
yay.
:)
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[25 Aug 2007|08:54am] |
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music |
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Infected Mushrooms - Astrix |
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Sooo, friday, school was alright. Went by pretty past, thank goodness. Dey changed my schedule for me, but ended up giving me two first hours, &no fourth. wtf?
Went to work.
Eh.
[[COME APPLY AT STARBUCKS]]
Dave picked me up afterwards.
We went to Stev-o's house, for dat party / rave thing.
Buuuut only to find out dat Danny (xtac) never showed up.
So dat meant we had no equipment,
&dey didn't have tables.
&der was a total of [maybe] ten people.
David attempted to drop one song &we left.
It was hilarious.
Went back to his house and............................................
[[u get da idea]]
he dropped me off at work.
Heidi &steph came by.
So dey waited around &drove me home.
&Zach is now obsessed with stephanie.
&her boobs.
ay dio.
noooooow i'm jus chillin,
eatin cap'n crunch
&waiting for dave to get me.
barbara is coming over today....
marc's girl.
i don't think i'll be here though.
So i've basically spent my entire weekend with david.
&i love it.
oh, and i think jeremy finally realized dat da split between us was not entirely my fault.
I'm not funna lie, I do still miss him.
&I do still have feelings for him.
Dats not going to change.
But since i've been with Dave, i've been happy. &i've never been able to actually say dat. I go to bed with a smile on my face, and wake up jus da same way. He's changed so much for me, but all for da better. Thanks chrissy, if it wasn't for u, I wouldn't have dis happyness.
Jason is still pissy at me.
Cuz of Dave.
What da fuck?
o.O
arrrrg.
stupid boys. XP
i love life.
<3
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[20 Aug 2007|11:29pm] |
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music |
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Rascall Flatts - What Hurts The Most |
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School was okay.
Kinda long though.
I've decided, i'm going to be quite upset when dey switch me out of guard :(
oooh well.
:/
David picked me up from school
<3
Went to his house, watched Scrubs, fell asleep.
He took pictures.
Nerd. XP
I got him sick :/ &i bruised his shoulder pretty badly.
I feel like a bully.
Went to see Danny at work :)
Got food.
Cuz dave made me eat...
Went back to David's.
Now i'm home.
Shower, den bed..
Night.
<3
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[18 Aug 2007|01:53pm] |
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music |
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Tiesto - Adagio For Strings |
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So, yesterday was a lot to tak in. Oh my goodness. It started off as one of da worst days i had ever had. Until David picked me up from work, den I felt better once I was with him.. Got a tounge ring from chrissy. &it hurt like a bitch to put in...=/ -shrug- da rave was incredible. I was extremly extremly exauhsted, but it really was. I had da most amazing time. It was unbelievable. &David did really good with his set last night. &it gave him da biggest confidence boost ever, i'm so happy for him. =) &he was right about all da "awwwwwwwwwe!!"s &da "u two are so cute togetherrrr!!!" blah blah blah XP Odokwan helped out a lot with dat one hehehe jason was mad at me.. =/ again. &I dono why, again. I think it has something to do with david -.- But I guess he got over w/e it was as da night progressed. I'm glad he did, I really missed him :( &I finally got my picture with brandon!! &jason too!! XP yayyyy haha david dropped me off [[ON TIME!!]] &he went off &went to go trip at zauzzie's. he got mad cuz of dumpling though :( i felt bad.. I slept for two hours. Got up, showered, went to da gym [[which a badddddd idea da morning after u roll =/]] now i'm chillin at [[my now]] home, waitin to get picked uppppppp =]
school tomorrow.
I can't wait.
:)
i LOVE life.
<3
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[17 Aug 2007|02:50pm] |
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mood |
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 optimistic |
] |
u kno what...
forget it all....
why???
cuz i love life
<3
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[17 Aug 2007|02:13pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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I'm not strong enough for him to keep dis up.
Does he not realize dat?
It hurts me so much more &more.
He texted me.
In german.
Like i'm ALI!!!
i'm NOT ali
i CAN'T do what SHE does for him
I can't keep dis going
I love him
SO FUCKING MUCH
but he broke it!
does he not see dat???
How many fucking more times does he want me to fall asleep bawling like a baby at night cuz of him...
I'm jus not ali...
I'm not.
I'm not ali..
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[17 Aug 2007|11:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 excited |
] |
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music |
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Saosin |
] |
Hm. Yesterday was pretty good.
dyed my hair before work.
Heidi &steph came by when i was at work.
cool cool.
but i was "studying" ICK.
I get certified saturday though
XD
Den Kimmy &chrissy when I was on break.
&Kimmy tried force feeding me
"eat eat u anorexic little thing!!!"
haha
it made my day to see dem
<3
david came by later on
tried stealing my starbucks hat XP
he made my night a million times better though.
as usual
<3 <3 <3
i'm moving today
to cooper city
XD
I can't wait.
i'm really excited.
haha &my dad wants to "meet da boyfriend"
so davids coming by later lol
a lot is changing
&i'm loving it.
today is going to be an amazing day
<3
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[15 Aug 2007|10:51pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
] |
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music |
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Sweet Child 'O Mine is stuck in my head |
] |
NOW dat i tell him I don't want to do dis anymore, he does.
NOW dat I say i'm through trying, he wants to try.
what dat fuck am i s'posed to do.
of course I still care about him, I always have. &I always will.
I love da boy &der is no changing dat.
But i'm going with David now.
[[which by da way, we both think its hilarious dat everyone new about us before we did ourselves XP]]
What am I s'posed to say to him.
What does Jerm expect me to do.
I don't understand.
I think I need help.
Actually, one of da only people I wanna see right now is jason.
He always knows how to make me feel better.
How to make me smile...
I miss him
=/
Anyway, I started working today.
It was really easy.
I'm already getting certified on monday.
Yay me?
i still can't eat.
&birth control is still making me moody as can be.
=/
come bother me at work tomorrow.
i'm only der 5-9, cuz dey are cutting hours =/
starbucks.
in da super target.
on stirling &university.
k thanks,
=]
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[09 Aug 2007|02:30pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
] |
so it appears i might have to take a drug test saturday....
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[07 Aug 2007|01:12pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
] |
Sooooooooooooo basically dis weekends was fucking incredible!!
friday i was s'posed to go to da beach, but dat never happened.
i saw bourne ultimatum with heidi mike steoh &some carlos dude
it was fucking AMAZING!!
sat i chilled at home till about 7 somthing
dave picked me up
along with justin ali kimmy &some other chick
ha
dave tried showing me how to work da whole dj ting
didn't work
lmaoooo
i'm still confusedXP
but wow. masquerave.
950 people.
insanity!!!!!
it was wonderful.
took a few sometings
dumpling took care of me
<3
den malic did when dumpling left
<3 <3
i love those boys
i danced until da lights come on
haha
went to dave's afterwards
kimmy chrissy ali michele dave &hammer
took a few more sometings
-cuddled.
-went for a walk
we found a playground XDDD
but it had no swings
&we became da cute squad
=]]]
i eventually fell asleep with dave
woke up it was 10 something
went home
showered
went to sleep
........
yesterday i chilled at home all day
dave come over last night
he brought be koala yummies
&smokes
&food
we sat outside my house from 9 till 2
<3
dis was one of da most amazing weekends ever
<3 <3 <3 <3
but now i have a lot on my mind, a lot to figure out.
pertaining to two people.
two guys actually.
&i tink only maybe chrissy &possibly kimmy would kno who or what i'm reffering to.
hmmm.
=/
i'll write about it later.
right now i have a lot to do
<3
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[04 Aug 2007|04:44pm] |
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mood |
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excited |
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aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!
i'm fucking hungry!!!
lol
i need food
soooo, i don't hear from jerm for a couple days
&when i do, its 2:30 in da morning
&he calls me to bitch at me
cuz he found out i WAS going to be faced tonight
not anymore though
well, i don't think
he talked me out of it
kinda.
maybe
we'll see what happens i guess
buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut
i'm excited for tonight
dave [[dj london]] is pickin me upppppp
cuz i have to be der no later dan EIGHT
=/
ick
haha
oh well
i'm excited
<3 <3 <3
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[01 Aug 2007|04:13pm] |
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mood |
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 pessimistic |
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ugh.
i'm sick of da same old shit.
-.-
i wish things could be different.
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[01 Aug 2007|11:36am] |
| [ |
mood |
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sick |
] |
sooo last night was... bad
i blew up on blake
terribly
but he forgave me
ha
dis morning is going better
so far
so, it looks like i have a new "teacher"
dj london is gonna be teachin me da "tricks of da trade"
along with jason
but jason has already been my "teacher" for a lil while.
kind of
lol
oh. &it looks like i'm going to be modeling
-.-
god.
i really don't want to.
but, i need da money....
&dat sure as hell brings in a lot..
i could use it.
i kno i could.
but i HATE modeling.
fuck.
oh well, i guess.
its a job, right?
i'll live.
more to come..
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[31 Jul 2007|08:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
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music |
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forever - papa roach |
] |
right now i'm at heidi's.
with her, steph &joe
i wanna get out
as usual
i'm bored
with everything
eh
what else is new
i miss jerm
&someone else
ah.
geez.
der is something wrong with me.
its not jus an addiction anymore
its become an obsession
i miss being around him
even talking to him makes me smile
but its not enough
i'm too greedy with him.
ugh.
i need to stop.
actually, i need to tell him
maybe
or, well
maybe i can jus let things slide
like, jus "go with da flow"
&jus let everything fall into place
yea.
i think dat sounds good
he doesn't need to kno anything...
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[30 Jul 2007|12:06am] |
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mood |
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 nervous |
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music |
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nada |
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so, der is dis boy
yea, i love him
he makes everything worth while
=]
da end.
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[29 Jul 2007|08:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 creative |
] |
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music |
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forever - papa roach |
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You leave me breathless
Empty
A cloud without water
Please, come back?
Save me
I need you now
More than ever
I hate you
You hurt me
I love you
Forgive me
For whatever I may have done
I miss you
Your warm smile
Your precious, promising eyes
You touch
And you kiss
All which I can't get enough of
All that I long for
I yearn to hold you again
To call you mine
I promised to keep you forever
You promised to never leave
And yet, here we are.
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[29 Jul 2007|08:16pm] |
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music |
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smile in ur sleep - silverstein |
] |
Visions of us still lingering
The esscence of you overwhelming
I'm unable to escape
The very thought that lost you
Still draws me near
I'm here without you
Wishing to be in those very arms
I pray for that angel
The angel I saw in you
That swept me off my feet
By just a mere look
My very breathe was taken from me
But still I persist
To long for that touch
The touch that makes my heart flutter
And the kiss that freezes my lips
But fills them with a venom so warm
That to think I could be without
Is pure insanity
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[29 Jul 2007|02:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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smile in your sleep - silverstein |
] |
sooo last night...
went to see the simpsons movie
with steph malic &dumpling
made my day
dumpling wore my clothes
when we got back to stephs
fucking hilarious
malic made a bet with me dat he wouldn't do it
needless to say, he owes me 10 dollars
=]
i'm sleepy
still moody
jerm wants me to go to illinois for dougs wedding
but its not till next summer
ha
ahhh
my computer is spazzing
it keeps making aim noises
but i'm not on aim!!!!
what da fuck
its kinda weird >.<
steph &i are trying to find something to do
but were failing
miserably
ha
call?
plans?
please??
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[26 Jul 2007|09:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
I don't understand whats wrong with me..
I'm always angry
or sad
or depressed
or mad or jus plain upset
i'm smoking so much more
all i ever want to do is get fucked up
i never want to be home anymore
nothing is da same in my eyes
i'm getting distant
i'm hardly ever happy
i can't eat
all i do is sleep
i refuse to admit i'm going through depression, again.
i can't be...
but its da same as last time..
and da two times before dat.
its ridiculous
i'm ridiculous
but i can't help it
i dono what da hell to do anymore
i need help
i kno dat
but from whom
noone can help me
i can't even help me
i'm so moody
i yell at everyone
i can't hold my anger back anymore
i have da worst mood swings
its honestly driving me crazy
i cry so much
i've cried myself to sleep every night for da past two weeks
what da fuck do i do..
help me
someone
please
anyone..
i honestly don't kno what da hell to do anymore...
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